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I followed the saga of Michael Morales last week with morbid amusement. You know who I’m talking about don’t ya? He was the guy who was supposed to be executed by lethal injection in Cali. Morales raped and killed a 17-year-old 25 years ago.

His attorneys argued that lethal injection fell under the “cruel and unusual punishment” section of the constitution. Apparently there had been evidence of the condemned moaning and such as they were being given the golden shot.

So, to make sure Morales was knocked out, the federal judge handling the case ruled that an anesthesiologist must be on hand during the “procedure”.

The main anesthesioloigst and the back-up doc balked when they realized that if Morales came to while he was being given the chemicals, they’d have to assist in getting him back to an unconscious state.

Damn that Hippocratic oath.

The state couldn’t find anyone to take their places. Hence, the execution was called off. No one could ensure that the execution would be “painless”.

Now, I’m going to step out on a limb with this, but hear me out.

Why is everyone all of a sudden trying to be “ethical” and make shit “painless”? It’s a freaking execution for chrissakes. If we’re going to do it, then we need to do it the American Way.

Broadcast it.

That’s right, broadcast it.

And as a matter of fact, get rid of that candy-ass lethal injection method and bring back the noose, or even the chair! Scratch that, how about just chopping their heads off a la our Saudi brethren? Painless? Schmainless!

We need to stop being all squeamish about putting our prisoners to death.

Think about it! A prime-time broadcast, just before the 10PM news. It would make a great lead-in. We could have Oprah host the pre-execution segment, Jeff Probst do the honors of doing the play-by-play when the condemned goes to meet his/her maker, and then….hmmmm. Who could do the wrap-up?

Oooooo…that funny dude from Strictly Come Dancing, Bruce Forsyth!

Why should executions be carried out in the middle of night, with only a few lucky souls watching? Why should we lull ourselves into thinking that when we carry out the death penalty it’s “clean”, “sterile”, “medical”…

…a “procedure”?

Talk about the ultimate reality show!

And what’s a reality show without audience participation? We could select the method of execution (you know you’d choose the most gruesome) and vote by calling in!

Gather the family around the set and watch the sparks fly…literally!

Then we could all see what the government is doing in “our name”.

Why do we hide what we crave behind prison walls? Are we afraid that we’ll turn our heads?

That we’ll be ashamed of what we do?

Or maybe, that we’ll enjoy watching?

Perhaps then we’ll realize that as a society that practices capital punishment, we’re just as guilty as the person strapped in that chair.