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Saw Troy last night and I admit, it wasn’t *that* bad. If one lets go of the fact that it was inspired by the Iliad and not a movie version of the Iliad, then it can be enjoyable (not as enjoyable as O Brother Where Art Thou, which was inspired by The Odyssey though).

Two words about bad acting:

1. Brad

2. Pitt

He had no business being Achilles. He has the acting range of a gnat and with the wonderful talent that surrounded him, it was painfully obvious. The trip part about this is that I like Brad, but he needs to be more careful picking parts. Brad, the next time you want to strap on leather and play with a sword, call Russell Crowe for tips.

Biggest miscast of the movie: Diane Kruger as Helen. That part should have gone to Saffron Burrows (Hector’s wife). If she had played that part the audience would have understood why Paris (Orlando Bloom) went all affenscheisse over her. Kruger just left me scratching my head. I’m sure she was scratching her head too when she used all those big scary words. Kruger was good at crying real tears though. Hell, I guess if someone put me in a movie and I couldn’t act my way out of a moldy, wet paper bag with that banana you took to work last week and forgot about, I’d cry too.

Who *really* should have played Helen: Ange-freakin-lina Jolie. She probably would have scared the hell out of Bloom though.

Biggest surprise of the movie: Eric Bana. He did such a good job as Hector that I even let it slide when his Aussie accent slipped through a couple of times.

Speaking of accents: What was up with Pitt not being able to decide which one to use when he was calling for Hector? “Hectoooooor”, “Hectaaaaah”, “Hectuh” (guess he thought he was back in Missouri with that last one). Hell, I half expected him to start saying, “Yo, come on out biii-yotch”.

Nudity, or lack of it: I agree with the folks at Ruthless Reviews. Why is it okay to watch someone getting a sword rammed down their thorax, but then play hide and seek with the twigs and berries?

Most heart wrenching scene: Priam’s (Peter O’Toole) visit to Achilles. Heart wrenching for two reasons:

1. O’Toole wasn’t O’Toole. He *was* Priam. He was Priam in that entire movie and kicked ass. He could have easily overacted that scene, but he didn’t. That’s why he’s one of the greats.

2. Putting an actor like Pitt in a scene with a great like O’Toole showed just how much training Pitt needs. And Pitt’s 40. It’s not like he just started out. I could almost sense O’Toole wanting to scream, “EMOTE WITH ME BOY, EMOTE!”

Note about O’Toole: Is it me or has O’Toole had some…er…um…*work* done? I don’t remember him looking that…er…um…*awake*.

Computer Generated Images (CGI): They were used, but I didn’t really notice them. <martha>It’s a good thing.</martha>

Another note: Didn’t half of these folks appear in Lord of the Rings?

Wait, no. Harry Potter.

Oh crap. I get them all confused.